I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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