Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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