Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize