this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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