cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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