i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize