We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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