So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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