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Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She said her name was "party"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
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