Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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