how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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