accomplished twins. life is a go
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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