I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize