OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize