so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize