Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize