Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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