let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
