I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize