So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need moral support for this bender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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