Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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