Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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