Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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