I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize