Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize