I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize