im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
