: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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