dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize