i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize