So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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