just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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