No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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