it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
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I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize