I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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