Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize