I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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