I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
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No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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