I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it hurts more in the daytime
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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