Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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