Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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