I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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