I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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