As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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