is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
