whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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