would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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