I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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