I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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