at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How's work?
Spinning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
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He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
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HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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