I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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