i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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