The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize